This is an important post about cyberbullying for all parents and educators to read. It contains many useful links. Thanks Jacqui Murray.
In October 2006, thirteen-year-old Megan Meier hung herself in her bedroom closet after suffering months of cyberbullying. She believed her tormentors’ horrid insults, never thought she could find a way to stop them, and killed herself. She’s not the only one. In fact, according to the anti-bullying website NoBullying.com, 52 percent of young people report being cyberbullied and over half of them don’t report it to their parents.
October is National Bullying Prevention Month, a great time to think about how you can be part of the solution to this insidious destructive problem.
What is cyberbullying?
The image of bullying is the big kid pushing the little kid on the playground. Today, that taunting and pushing is more likely to happen online than in person:
Cyberbullying is any online post, blog, article, or even a show of support for writing that insults one person (or a group) who thinks/acts differently than what…
A review of Rainforest Rescue the third in the Song Bird series of empowering junior fiction books by author Karen Tyrrell.
This week, I want to let you know about Rainforest Rescue, newly released and third junior fiction novel in the Song Bird series of empowering books for young people, by Karen Tyrrell.
I have previously interviewed Karen about the other books in her Song Bird series, Song Bird Superhero and The Battle of Bug World so wanted to let you know that the third is now available.
I was delighted to attend the recent launch of Rainforest Rescue. Song Bird (Karen) and Tree Man (Karen’s husband and co-author, Steve) wowed their audience that included other superheroes as well as mere mortals like me.
Since the launch, Karen and Steve have been busy visiting schools and making bookshop appearances as part of Book Week Celebrations. If you would like a visit from Karen with one of her empowering presentations or pantomimes, you can contact her on her website here, or connect with her on social media — Twitter: @Karen_Tyrrell. FB: @KarenTyrrellAuthor.
Visit Karen’s website for free teacher resources, a special offer for Australian readers, and information about purchasing Rainforest Rescue elsewhere.
This is my review of Rainforest Rescue, which you can read on Amazon here.
Rainforest Rescue is the third book in the Song Bird series by Karen Tyrrell and the best yet.
With today 16 March being the National Day Against Bullying and Violence and next Wednesday 21 March being Harmony Day in Australia, now is a good time to think about what it means to be a friend, what bullying is, and how to combat it. Of course, any time is a great time for developing friendship skills, but these special days help to raise awareness.
The purpose of the National Day Against Bullying and Violence is fairly clear in its title. Harmony Day is for celebrating cultural diversity. “It’s about inclusiveness, respect and a sense of belonging for everyone.” That sounds very much like friendship to me.
The development of social skills, including the friendship skills of getting along, can not be left to chance. The skills must be actively encouraged and taught. Children must learn what behaviour is friendly, what is not friendly and what is bullying.
The teaching of these skills and behaviours should not be left to one or two days of the year but integrated into the teaching program. In fact, the best way to encourage friendship and discourage bullying is through the implementation of policies that foster respect and accept
Balloons are almost synonymous with fun and celebrations. They come in all shapes and sizes to decorate parties and other events. A child with a balloon is usually a child with a smiling face – until the balloon bursts, pops or escapes.
What do balloons and bullies have in common, you may ask? I’m sure there are many ways balloons could be used for bullying.
With this Friday 16 March being the National Day Against Bullying and Violence, I decided to write a story that could be shared with children and used as a stimulus for discussing bullying, bullying prevention, and what it means to be a friend. I hope you like it.
Surprises for Marnie
Brucie loved surprising Marnie on her way to school each day.
Marnie expected that Brucie would meet her, but she never knew where.
On Monday, he jumped from behind a bush screaming at her.
On Tuesday, he stuck out his foot and tripped her.
On Wednesday, he snuck up behind and pulled her hair.
On Thursday, he popped a balloon in her ear.
On Friday, he surprised Marnie by not surprising her at all.
But, after she’d put her bag away, he pulled it out and emptied its contents on the floor.
“Whose mess is this?” demanded Mrs Brown.
What do you think? I have put the story together with some teaching suggestions in a resource to add to the readilearn collection.
The story has the potential to initiate discussion around issues and questions such as the following; for example:
What is a friend? What do friends do?
What is a surprise? Are all surprises good?
What is bullying? Are some people always friendly? Do some people always bully?
How do you think Marnie responds to Brucie’s “surprises”? How does her body feel?
Why would Brucie bully Marnie?
Do you think Marnie tells anyone about what Brucie is doing? Why wouldn’t she tell?
What should you do if you see someone being mean or bullying another?
Have you ever been bullied?
How did you respond? What would be a better way to respond?
What could Marnie have done to get Brucie to stop?
Have you ever bullied anyone?
These are just a beginning. The Bullying No Way website has some great resources to assist you in educating children about bullying and its prevention.
“an ongoing misuse of power in relationships through repeated verbal, physical and/or social behaviour that causes physical and/or psychological harm.”
The important words here are:
ongoing, repeated, misuse of power, causing harm
Single or isolated acts of unkindness or aggression are not considered bullying.
Brucie is obviously engaging in bullying behaviour as he repeatedly abuses Marnie causing her physical as well as psychological (fear, anxiety) harm.
Marnie is reluctant to talk about the situation for fear of making it worse.
Children need to learn that there are safe people they can talk to about incidents that occur, and they also need to learn strategies for responding to unkindness and bullying.
When discussing bullying situations, it is important to not label a child as either victim or bully, but to describe the behaviour. Behaviour can be changed but it is often difficult to remove a label once it has been applied. What we need most are supportive schools that fosters acceptance and respect.
Read all about award-winning author Karen Tyrrell and her empowering book for children – Song Bird Superhero; just in time for the National Day of Action Against Bullying and Violence.
Karen is an award-winning author who writes books to empower kids (and adults) and help them live strong and be resilient. After many years of classroom teaching experience, she continues to educate through sharing her own story of resilience as a survivor of bullying, through her words on the page, and through her workshops for adults that deal with writing, marketing, and funding, in addition to empowerment. She presents workshops for children in schools, libraries, and other creative spaces. With her flair for costuming and performance, she always conducts entertaining sessions with a splash of fun staring in her own scripted pantomimes.
In her first book Me and Her: A Memoir of Madness Karen tells of the bullying she experienced as a teacher, and of her remarkable survival story. Her second, Me and Him: A Guide to Recovery tells of the important role of her husband as support on her journey back to health.
From there Karen has gone on to write a number of children’s books, includingBailey Beats the Blahand STOP the Bully, both of which are endorsed by Kids Helpline. She won an RADF (Regional Arts Development Fund) grant for her picture book Harry Helps Grandpa Rememberabout memory loss and strategies for remembering.
With Australia’s National Day of Action against Bullying and Violence occurring this Friday 17 March and Harmony Daynext Tuesday 21 March, it is timely to consider what we can do to ensure our schools and communities are safe places; places where everyone is included, diversity is appreciated, and others are treated with compassion and respect.
I recently wrote about the importance of teaching children strategies for making friends and getting along with others. As for children in any class, these strategies would be very useful for Marnie and others in her class. Marnie, a girl who is abused at home and bullied at school, is a character I have been developing intermittently over the past few years in response to Charli’s flash fiction challenges at the Carrot Ranch. I haven’t written about her recently as the gaps widened and the inconsistencies grew and I felt I needed to give her more attention than time allowed.
Sometimes, when children are having difficulty settling in and making friends at school, are being bullied, or are bullying, it is easier to point the finger, allocate blame, and attempt to place the responsibility for a solution on others. Firstly, I think we, as a society, need to realise that we share responsibility. Secondly, we need to be the type of person we want others to be: compassionate, kind, accepting, welcoming, respectful. Thirdly, we need to teach the attitudes and behaviours we wish to encourage and make it very clear what is and is not acceptable; including “Bullying.No Way!”
We are not always aware of the circumstances in which children are living or the situations to which they are exposed which may impact upon their ability to learn or to fit in. I wondered why Marnie might be abused at home. Although I knew her parents were abusive, I hadn’t before considered why they might be so. Charli’s honeymoon prompt led me to thinking about young teenage parents, who “had” to get married and take on the responsibility of caring for a child when they were hardly more than children themselves. I thought about broken dreams, lost opportunities, and definitely no honeymoon. Such was life for many in years not long ago.
Blaming is easy. Mending is more difficult. Safety and respect are essential. I’d love to know what you think.
Honeymoon dreams
Marnie sat on the bed, legs drawn up, chin pressed into her knees, hands over her ears. “Stop it! Stop it!” she screamed inside. Why was it always like this? Why couldn’t they just get over it? Or leave? She’d leave; if only she had somewhere to go. She quivered as the familiar scenario played out. Hurts and accusations unleashed: “Fault”. “Tricked”. “Honeymoon”. “Bastard”. Marnie knew: she was their bastard problem. He’d storm out. She’d sob into her wine on the couch. Quiet would reign, but briefly. Marnie knew he’d be into her later, and she? She’d do nothing.
Thank you for reading. I appreciate your feedback. Please share your thoughts.
Remember to catch up with Karen Tyrrell who writes about empowerment in my interview on the readilearn blog this Friday.
“create learning environments where every student and school community member is safe, supported, respected and valued”
A very worthwhile goal, I’m sure you’ll agree.
The Bullying No Way website has resources for parents, teachers and students, including this video for young children:
The Prime Minister Tony Abbott delivered a message to children telling them that there is no place for bullying in Australia, that bullying is wrong. I definitely agree!
Last month Yvonne Spence organized a very successful #1000 Speak for Compassion campaign. This month she has placed the focus on bullying and requested bloggers to unite their voices against bullying. You can join in by visiting the Facebook page. I have already linked my most recent post Bully for you! as well as this one. There are many others there to read.
Last week Charli Mills extended a challenge to write a flash fiction story about bullies. She has compiled the wonderful stories in her post Circling the Bullies.
My previous post, Bully for you! received many comments, some sharing experiences of bullying, either of themselves or someone close to them. One comment was from a new visitor to my blog Sherrill S Cannon who shared information about her books dealing with bullying for children, and also explained her involvement with I’m bully free.org to which she donates 50% of the revenue from her books purchased through that page.
There are many other organizations that promote information about and actions against bullying worldwide. Hopefully as more voices unite in making others aware of, and in speaking out against bullying, we can come close to eradicating it from our society.
“More needs to be done to prevent bullying. I really believe that there should be more intensive courses for teachers and administrators to learn to deal with the bully issue. We will never eradicate bullying completely. It is a tactic used by despots and terrorists, and sadly, they seem to thrive.”
Many of the comments on the post last week were in relation to the bullying incident involving Marnie. I share her story again here in case you missed it:
Not funny at all!
Jasmine and Georgie rushed towards the cluster of children who were laughing hysterically at something unseen. They expected to see an entertainer performing magic tricks. Instead they saw Marnie, face down in a puddle, reaching for her unicorn; sobbing.
“Good one, Brucie!” Two boys high-5ed. Another called, “Way to go!”
The children stood transfixed by the spectacle. Jasmine pushed through. She picked up the muddied unicorn, stretched out a hand to help Marnie up, then put an arm around her waist,
As she led Marnie away Jasmine glared at the group of disbelieving faces.
“Shame on you,” she said*.
*Thanks to Donna Marie for suggesting I change “mouthed” to “said”.
In this piece I tried to show that there may be many participants in bullying, not just the obvious “victim” and “bully”.
Marnie is the obvious victim. But there were many onlookers. None, except Jasmine, spoke up against the bully. By their silence were they condoning it? Or were they fearful that they would be the next targets if they said anything? Does that also make them victims? How does that affect their confidence and self-image?
Brucie was the obvious bully, causing Marnie’s embarrassment. But what of the boys who applauded with their high-5s and words of encouragement? Were they joining in because they too were mean; part of a gang of bullies? Or like the other onlookers, did they feel threatened about what may happen to them if they didn’t join in?
But is Brucie also a victim? What makes a bully a bully? Why did he pick on the vulnerable? What in his life caused him to act this way?
And what of Georgie who stood back in the crowd and did nothing while her friend Jasmine went to Marnie’s rescue? Why was she reticent to support her friend?
I wonder, too, what they all said when they turned away. Did they speak out in private about the bullies? Geoff Le Pardcommented on a similar lack of support for him when he was bullied at school.
Jasmine was the only one who came to her rescue? Why did she? How was she feeling? Had she been the victim of bullying and so felt empathy with Marnie? Did she just know it was wrong and that it was important for someone to take a stand? What had happened in her life to make her so strong?
Donna Marie of Writer’s Side Upcommented how being bullied had ruined her boyfriend’s life and suggested that more needs to be done to change the bully’s behaviour. Perhaps some bullies need protection from bullies themselves. Did they need to learn the behaviour somewhere?
The word bullying is sometimes used to describe a one-off unpleasant incident, like poking out a tongue or showing the “rude” finger. However bullying usually refers to something more ongoing, where there is an imbalance of power, the “stronger” picking on the “weaker”.
To avoid becoming the weaker, I think children need to develop resilience. They need to realise that just because somebody says it doesn’t make it true. They need to learn to take responsibility for their feelings, realise that they can choose to feel upset or choose to ignore it. I am in no way saying they should ignore aggressive, violent, intimidating behaviour, but learning to be resilient about the little things helps to develop strength of character.
I think we would probably all agree that bullying is a complex issue with many facets. That education is required to reduce its incidence is a given. What do you think?
Thank you for reading. I appreciate your feedback. Please share your thoughts about any aspect of this post.
In October 2006, thirteen-year-old Megan Meier hung herself in her bedroom closet after suffering months of cyberbullying. She believed her tormentors’ horrid insults, never thought she could find a way to stop them, and killed herself. She’s not the only one. In fact, according to the anti-bullying website NoBullying.com, 52 percent of young people report being cyberbullied and over half of them don’t report it to their parents.
Norah Colvin 