And now for something completely different for me –
Charli Mills over at Carrot Ranch Communications issued a challenge:
In 99 words (no more, no less) write the aftermath of an avalanche of any kind from any perspective.
This is my first ever attempt at 99 word flash fiction.
The Avalanche
The trickle began; imperceptible, unheeded and ignored.
Needing more attention, the volume swelled and quickened pace.
Still no attention was forthcoming so the surge became more urgent and incessant in its plea.
“Slow down! Stop me!”
To no avail.
The avalanche engulfed her.
Heat flashed through her body, from feet straight to her head.
Heart pounding loudly, “Let me out of here!” it pled.
With reverberations magnified in each and every cell,
the heady swirl became too much –
she trembling choked. “I’m dying?”
But no:
B-r-e-a-t-h-e s-l-o-w.
B-r-e-a-t-h-e d-e-e-p.
R-e-l-a-x.
S-o-o-t-h-e.
B-r-e-a-t-h-e . . .
The panic abates.
Let me know what you think of my first attempt.
Pingback: March 12: Flash Fiction Challenge « Carrot Ranch Communications
Only 99 words to make us actually feel a panic attack? Well done! And I liked how you released us from the anxiety at the end.
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Thanks Diane, It was a challenge to do it in 99 words so I’m pleased it did create a little of the effect.
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Wonderful debut, Norah! From your opening through the deep breathing, we feel the avalanche of emotions that engulf. You characterize it well. May you experience the flow of creativity in other aspects of your writing that comes from writing flash!
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Thank you for your positive encouragement, Charli. I am looking forward to the flash challenges you pose for a little something different in my day!
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Great debut, Norah. 100 more of these and you’re on your way to a novel. In the meantime, I recommend The Silent Land by Graham Joyce which is exactly about the aftermath of an avalanche http://www.grahamjoyce.co.uk/?page_id=166
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Thanks for your encouragement, Anne. I really appreciate it coming from an experienced flash writer. I hadn’t thought about the 100 more flash samples. It’s an interesting thought. Maybe that novel is achievable, one step at a time! I will have to check out The Silent Land. Fortunately for me I have never experienced an avalanche!
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Actually, ashamed to say I missed off a zero – you need another 999! But very presumptuous of me to expect that everyone wants to write a novel. And regarding Flash, you’re ahead of me, I’ve never tried anything as short as 100 words. A real achievement.
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Another zero! Now that’s another story! I thought everyone did want to write a novel! One day maybe. I’m not sure that I could sustain the characters and plot. I’ve certainly got ideas but nothing concrete. Concentrating on education at the moment. I thought I’d try Charli’s flash challenge. With my limited time at the moment thought I might be able to manage it, but it’s not as easy as it sounds. A bit of fun with something different for a change – a bit like the old school compositions, writing to a set topic, only more fun!
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Very atmospheric! It reminds me of Picnic at Hanging Rock. Nicely written 🙂
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Oooh! Thanks Bec. I had to make sure I’d written ‘panic’ and not ‘picnic’!
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Cool story Nor!
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Thanks Glenn!
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