Live Love Laugh Learn … Create the possibilities

Bears in the Woods #FallWritingFrenzy

I decided to enter the Fall Writing Frenzy hosted by Kaitlyn Sanchez.

The rules stated:

1. Select one of the images below and write about it.

It can be a poem, a story, a mood piece, or whatever comes to mind. Happy, scary, beautiful, grotesque, whatever suits your fancy for any kidlit age, board book through young adult. You can write about the picture in a literal or metaphorical way, or focus on a memory or emotion it elicits. Just let the photo inspire you and have fun!

I selected this photo #9 by Saliha Sevim on Pexels.com. (There were 14 to choose from.)

When I first looked at it, I got quite a sinister vibe from it, and that’s the way I started writing. However I decided that I didn’t want to go as grim as some of the fairy tales like Hansel and Gretal or Snow White, so toned it down in the end. I’m not sure how it works as a story for children, but since time to enter has run out, so has my time to revise.

Please pop over to Kaitlyn’s blog to read all the entries.

Bears in the Woods

“Where are we going? Mama?”

“Why are we going into the woods, Mama?”

Mama just smiled and sang, “If you go down to the woods today . . .”

“Are there bears, Mama?”

“Mama. Are there bears?”

“It’s dark, Mama. Can we go home now?”

“Don’t worry, Billy. You’re with Mama. Nothing will hurt you.”

“But it’s scary. There’s bears. And monsters.”

“There’s no monsters, and the bears—”

He pulled his hand from hers and ran.

“—are just teddy—. Billy!”

Blinded by tears and monstrous fears,

he ran willy-nilly,

kicking up dry autumn leaves,

head-first into spider webs,

through prickly bushes.

Mama ran after him. “Billy! Billy!’ His comfort doll hung limply over her arm.

He didn’t hear. He kept running, running, running. He wanted out of the deep dark terrifying bear-infested woods. Finally, he collapsed in a pile of leaves, no longer able to outrun the fears.

Rustle! Rustle! Something’s nearby. Shhh!

People’s voices? Children’s voices.

Billy peered around the tree. In a clearing, children were singing to teddy bears and toys. Adults were talking. In the middle, was Mama, crying.

“Mama! Mama!” Billy called.

She scooped him up. “Oh, silly Billy. They’re only teddy bears.”

Thank you blog post

Thank you for reading. I appreciate your feedback. Please share your thoughts.

Comments

29 responses to “Bears in the Woods #FallWritingFrenzy”

  1. Marsha Avatar

    I was afraid this story would go off the beaten path into something scarier than a bear. I’m glad it ended only with a tearful mom. There’s a fine line between being cold and heartless and letting your kid grow up spineless and whiney. Not having been a mom, I don’t know how people walk that tightrope. 🙂

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Norah Avatar

      I know what you mean, Marsha. It’s not an easy balance and, sadly, there’s no rule book. We all make up our own ‘rules’ as we go.

      Liked by 1 person

      1. Marsha Avatar

        Good point, Norah. 🙂

        Liked by 1 person

  2. Hugh W. Roberts Avatar

    Well done, Norah. You got right into a child’s imagination and fears. The ending was brilliant.

    Liked by 2 people

    1. Norah Avatar

      Thanks so much for your critique, Hugh. I really appreciate it. I’m pleased the child’s feelings rang true.

      Like

      1. Hugh W. Roberts Avatar

        Oh, it did, Norah. The pace at which you told the story was excellent.

        Liked by 1 person

        1. Norah Avatar

          I’m so pleased you think so, Hugh. It’s always good to know our writing works.

          Liked by 1 person

  3. youngviv Avatar

    Love this! I always found Teddy Bear’s Picnic unsettling—this captures it so well. 🙂

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Norah Avatar

      Thanks for popping over to read, Genevieve. I appreciate your support. Did you manage to write one in the end?
      Your comment reminded me of a party game I was involved in when I was five or six. It was a bit like drop the hanky, but when you were ‘out’, you had to sit in the middle of the circle as plum puddings which, they told us, were to be eaten for dessert. Needless to say, over-anxious and over-imaginative little me became quite distressed at the thought. Everyone else thought it was funny. How did I know it was to be a different ending than that intended for Hansel and Gretel?

      Like

  4. Jennie Avatar

    We’ll done, Norah! I enjoyed it.

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Norah Avatar

      Thank you, Jennie. 🙂

      Liked by 1 person

      1. Jennie Avatar

        You are welcome, Norah.

        Liked by 1 person

  5. robinettercleave Avatar

    Great writing! I was tearing up until the children with their teddy bears and toys were discovered! 🙂

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Norah Avatar

      I’m pleased it all worked out in the end. You know I wouldn’t harm little children, right? Thanks for reading, Robin. 🙂

      Like

  6. Sarah Brentyn Avatar

    Nicely done, Norah. Enjoyed this! 🍂

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Norah Avatar

      Thanks so much, Sarah. 🙂

      Liked by 1 person

  7. Jacqui Murray Avatar

    Happy ending–excellent.

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Norah Avatar

      I’m pleased you like it. Happy suits me too. 🙂

      Liked by 1 person

  8. robertawrites235681907 Avatar

    Interesting piece, Norah. A bit darker than your normal writing.

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Norah Avatar

      Thanks, Robbie. Yes, it is a bit darker. I found the image a bit unsettling for some reason.

      Liked by 1 person

  9. D. Avery @shiftnshake Avatar

    That gathering in the woods sounds like good fun. But you have to prepare the young ones. The bears might not be wild, but imaginations are. Well done, Buddy, so glad you participated in this prompt; it doesn’t come off as too frenzied.

    Liked by 3 people

    1. Norah Avatar

      I’m pleased you picked up on those important points, D. It is important that children are let in on the ‘secrets’, or their imaginations will run wild, particularly if they tend to anxiety. I think this mother should have done a lot more to prepare her son for the fun day. No wonder he’s anxious. He doesn’t get that support. I’m pleased it’s not too frenzied, but it still doesn’t work the way I’d like it too. I guess I have time to work on it now. Thanks for your critique. 🙂

      Liked by 1 person

  10. Darlene Avatar

    I like it and prefer the happy ending. There is enough tension to keep a young readers interest but the happy ending will avoid any nightmares.

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Norah Avatar

      Thank you for your lovely feedback, Darlene. I’m pleased nightmares are avoided.

      Liked by 1 person

  11. beth Avatar

    thanks for the happy ending, it certainly could have gone another way

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Norah Avatar

      I just couldn’t bring myself to do sinister all the way through. It wouldn’t have been right. Thanks for reading and commenting, Beth. 🙂

      Liked by 1 person

      1. beth Avatar

        And if appreciate it )

        Liked by 1 person

        1. Norah Avatar

          I’m glad. 🙂

          Like

Leave a reply to Marsha Cancel reply

This site uses Akismet to reduce spam. Learn how your comment data is processed.