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Whispers #flashfiction

This week at the Carrot RanchCharli Mills challenged writers to In 99 words (no more, no less), write a story that includes whispers. It can be beautiful or creepy and any genre. Where are the whispers, who are they from, and what do they say if they say anything at all. Go where the prompt leads!

This is my response. I hope you like it.

Whispers

She watched from the side, longing to join in, fearing being ignored. Or worse, banished. Determined to beat her shyness, she’d shuffle one step forward, then the old insecurities would immobilise her, reminding her she didn’t belong. One foot forward. Stop. Another foot forward. Stop. She was almost there when the game paused, and they looked directly at her. She froze. They feigned whispers hidden behind hands. She didn’t need to guess. She ran and hid behind a tree, wishing for invisibility. “I’ll never belong!” Soon one face appeared, then others. “Please come and play with us,” they chorused.

Thank you blog post

Thank you for reading. I appreciate your feedback. Please share your thoughts.

Comments

40 responses to “Whispers #flashfiction”

  1. Rebecca Glaessner Author Avatar

    Ugh, got the tears welling up for me here Norah. This one hits close to home. I like your version much better though. And I like that my memories can shift just a little, each time I read your pieces of childhood wonder and magic and love, and imagine myself in their shoes once upon a time ago. Beautiful story as always, Norah.

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Norah Avatar

      Thank you for your kind words, Rebecca. I’d love it to always end this way. Unfortunately, it’s not often the case. In fact, I was mulling on not belonging when I read Charli’s prompt. It was a perfect fit.

      Liked by 1 person

  2. dgkaye Avatar

    A lovely ending Norah – the way it should be ❤

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Norah Avatar

      Thank you, Debby. If only …

      Liked by 1 person

  3. Michael B. Fishman Avatar

    This was a beautiful story, Norah, and thank you for the ending you chose.

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Norah Avatar

      Thank you, Michael. It’s the ending I’d like. 🙂

      Like

  4. ellenbest24 Avatar

    Stunning, stunning and even more stunning 😍

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Norah Avatar

      Thank you, Ellen. 🙂

      Like

  5. Jennie Avatar

    I like the ending, Norah.

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Norah Avatar

      Thank you, Jennie. It’s not the way it always ends in the playground but it’s the way I’d like it to end, and I know you would too.

      Liked by 1 person

      1. Jennie Avatar

        Absolutely!

        Liked by 1 person

  6. Patricia Tilton Avatar

    Sweet and uplifting!

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Norah Avatar

      Thank you, Patricia.

      Like

  7. Bette A. Stevens Avatar
    Bette A. Stevens

    Fantastic, Norah!

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Norah Avatar

      Thank you, Bette.

      Liked by 1 person

  8. robinettercleave Avatar

    Aw, nice – a happy ending! 🙂

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Norah Avatar

      Thanks, Robin. I like happy endings, Robin. 🙂

      Like

  9. Charli Mills Avatar

    The happy ending to a painfully common playground experience could help other children see the better way beyond feigning whispers.

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Norah Avatar

      I wish it always had a happy ending, Charli. 🙂

      Like

  10. Jacqui Murray Avatar

    What a happy ending!

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Norah Avatar

      I like happy endings!

      Liked by 1 person

  11. Sarah Brentyn Avatar

    Ah, whispers on the playground. In the classroom. In the halls. Looks and whispers do so much. I remember those days. Never ended this way but, as always, Norah finds the sunshine. 🙂

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Norah Avatar

      I can’t say it ever ended for me that way either, Sarah. But we can turn things around in fiction. 🙂

      Liked by 1 person

      1. Sarah Brentyn Avatar

        That’s the beauty of fiction. 🙂 (One of the many.)

        Liked by 1 person

        1. Norah Avatar

          Yeah. I wish it was as easy in ‘real’ life. 💖

          Like

  12. Jim Borden Avatar

    I’m glad there was a happy ending!

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Norah Avatar

      I like happy endings too. 🙂

      Liked by 1 person

  13. D. Avery @shiftnshake Avatar

    The prompt of whispers put me in mind of playgrounds and classrooms where they can be devastating, even if the messages are guessed at as your character does. Thank you for a happy ending and another story where kids are their better selves.

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Norah Avatar

      Perhaps we’ve witnessed many of those whispers in our time, D. They don’t always have happy endings, but I wish they would.

      Liked by 1 person

  14. calmkate Avatar

    nice mythical ending … most such incidences don’t have such a worthy ending 😦

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Norah Avatar

      Sadly, that’s true. In fiction I can make it a happy ending. 🙂

      Liked by 1 person

      1. calmkate Avatar

        one of many reasons we write …

        Liked by 1 person

  15. beth Avatar

    Yay! Happy ending-

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Norah Avatar

      Thanks, Beth.

      Liked by 1 person

  16. davidprosser Avatar

    And so the commoners saved the Princess from her shyness. Nice tale Norah.
    Gigantic Hugs

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Norah Avatar

      Thanks so much for your kind comment, David.

      Liked by 1 person

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