Norah Colvin

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News Splash

News Splash

Written by

Norah

in

Carrot Ranch Flash Fiction challenge Splash

This week at the Carrot Ranch, Charli Mills challenged writers to In 99 words (no more, no less) write a story that makes a big splash. It can be fluid, or you can play with the idiom (to make a big splash is to do or say something that becomes unforgettable). Go where the prompt leads!

This is where it finally led me. I hope you enjoy it.

News Splash

It was splashed all over the front page. There was no hiding it now. Mum and Dad wouldn’t be pleased. They’d cautioned her to be careful. Time. After. Time. And she was. She thought she could handle it. She didn’t need them watching over her every move. She had to be independent sometime. But this front-page catastrophe would be a setback. How could she minimise the damage?

When they came in, Jess faced them bravely.

They looked from her to the paper and back. Jess’s lip quivered. “Sorry.”

“Those headlines look somewhat juicy,” smirked Dad. “More juice?”

Jess nodded.

Spilled juice

Thank you blog post

Thank you for reading. I appreciate your comments. Please share your thoughts.

Comments

49 responses to “News Splash”

  1. Chelsea Owens Avatar
    Chelsea Owens

    I mean, what juice WAS it? 😀

    Liked by 1 person

    Reply
    1. Norah Avatar
      Norah

      What juice would you have chosen?

      Liked by 1 person

      Reply
      1. Chelsea Owens Avatar
        Chelsea Owens

        Orange. 🙂

        Liked by 1 person

        Reply
        1. Norah Avatar
          Norah

          Then it’s orange. 🙂

          Liked by 1 person

          Reply
  2. Chelsea Owens Avatar
    Chelsea Owens

    Well now I’m curious!

    Liked by 1 person

    Reply
    1. Norah Avatar
      Norah

      Curiosity is a good thing. 🙂

      Liked by 1 person

      Reply
  3. Jennie Avatar
    Jennie

    I love the twist to the story, Norah!

    Like

    Reply
    1. Norah Avatar
      Norah

      Thank you, Jennie. I’m pleased you enjoyed it. 🙂

      Liked by 1 person

      Reply
      1. Jennie Avatar
        Jennie

        You’re welcome, Norah. 🙂

        Liked by 1 person

        Reply
        1. Norah Avatar
          Norah

          💖

          Liked by 1 person

          Reply
  4. Hugh's Views and News Avatar
    Hugh’s Views and News

    Nicely done, Norah. I like how you played with our minds. It drew me in, and then I was relieved to find out that it was some spilt juice.
    I’ve gone down a similar line with my upcoming post for this week’s theme.

    Liked by 1 person

    Reply
    1. Norah Avatar
      Norah

      I’m pleased you enjoyed the twist in my story, Hugh. I think your twists often go dark. Mine went light. 🙂
      I look forward to reading your story. I’ll let you know what I think when I do.

      Liked by 1 person

      Reply
  5. Charli Mills Avatar
    Charli Mills

    No need to cry over spilled juice! 😉 I like how dad teases, but in a way that breaks the tension. Nice splash, Norah!

    Liked by 1 person

    Reply
    1. Norah Avatar
      Norah

      Thanks, Charli. It’s a lesson many of us need to learn. 🙂

      Like

      Reply
  6. D. Avery @shiftnshake Avatar
    D. Avery @shiftnshake

    All in all it’s a good kind of front page catastrophe. I enjoyed the set up then the twist and the word play. It’s a fine 99, Buddy.

    Liked by 1 person

    Reply
    1. Norah Avatar
      Norah

      Thank you, D. I appreciate your encouragement. 🙂

      Liked by 1 person

      Reply
  7. dgkaye Avatar
    dgkaye

    Juicy it is! Now we need to know, lol 🙂

    Liked by 1 person

    Reply
    1. Norah Avatar
      Norah

      😂 Thanks, Debby. Actually, Anne Goodwin wrote an improved version which makes it all much clearer. You won’t have to wait. I’ll share it with you here.
      Anne’s version
      It was splashed all over the front page. No hiding it. Mum and Dad would be furious. They’d cautioned her to be careful. Time. After. Time. And she was. She thought she could handle it. She didn’t need them watching her every move. She liked being independent. But would they trust her after this?
      When they came in, Jess faced them bravely.
      They looked from her to the paper and back again. Jess’s lip quivered. “Sorry.”
      “Those headlines look juicy,” smirked Dad. “Looks like you need a refill.”
      He picked up the jug. Jess passed him her empty glass.

      Liked by 1 person

      Reply
      1. dgkaye Avatar
        dgkaye

        Oh, lovely! But still a cliff-hanger lol 🙂

        Liked by 1 person

        Reply
        1. Norah Avatar
          Norah

          Thanks, Debby. It’s good have a little suspense sometimes. 🙂

          Liked by 1 person

          Reply
          1. dgkaye Avatar
            dgkaye

            Keeps them coming back Norah 🙂 x

            Like

            Reply
            1. Norah Avatar
              Norah

              I hope so, Debby. 😉

              Liked by 1 person

              Reply
  8. Book Club Mom Avatar
    Book Club Mom

    Juicy indeed! I enjoyed this! 🙂

    Liked by 1 person

    Reply
    1. Norah Avatar
      Norah

      Thank you, Barbara. 🙂

      Liked by 1 person

      Reply
  9. Jacqui Murray Avatar
    Jacqui Murray

    Sometimes people surprise you. And some parents are just plain wonderful.

    Liked by 1 person

    Reply
    1. Norah Avatar
      Norah

      Some parents are! I think I’d do a much better job now that I’m older and wiser. 🙂

      Like

      Reply
  10. robbiesinspiration Avatar
    robbiesinspiration

    A great take, Norah. Well done.

    Liked by 1 person

    Reply
    1. Norah Avatar
      Norah

      Thank you, Robbie. 🙂

      Liked by 1 person

      Reply
  11. calmkate Avatar
    calmkate

    lol very different … definitely needs a follow up 🙂

    Liked by 1 person

    Reply
    1. Norah Avatar
      Norah

      Thanks, Kate. I think this writer just needs to make better use of the 99 words. Poor little Jess was devastated when she spilled orange juice all over Daddy’s newspaper.

      Liked by 1 person

      Reply
      1. calmkate Avatar
        calmkate

        lol oh no all that intrigue for such a simple mistake 🙂

        Liked by 1 person

        Reply
        1. Norah Avatar
          Norah

          Sorry. I was trying to build it up and then lighten it with a twist. Children can be made to feel very anxious about little mistakes.

          Liked by 1 person

          Reply
          1. calmkate Avatar
            calmkate

            absolutely and that seems so cruel to me, we all make them!

            Liked by 1 person

            Reply
            1. Norah Avatar
              Norah

              We do indeed. 🙂

              Liked by 1 person

              Reply
  12. thecontentedcrafter Avatar
    thecontentedcrafter

    Tantalising! I hope this is going to be a serial – else I’ll live the rest of my life wondering what Jess has been up to!

    Liked by 1 person

    Reply
    1. Anne Goodwin (Annecdotist) Avatar
      Anne Goodwin (Annecdotist)

      Ha, me too! Next instalment with the next prompt please Norah.

      Liked by 2 people

      Reply
      1. Norah Avatar
        Norah

        Oh dear. I’m not so good at squeezing all the story into 99 words. Some people tell so much. I’m the same with time. Others seem to fit in so much more than I do.
        As I just explained to Pauline, three-year-old Jess spilled orange juice all over Daddy’s newspaper. Catastrophic only for the child, and the author. 🙂

        Liked by 1 person

        Reply
        1. Anne Goodwin (Annecdotist) Avatar
          Anne Goodwin (Annecdotist)

          Sorry, I didn’t look closely enough. That is a fabulous twist to the story.

          Liked by 1 person

          Reply
          1. Norah Avatar
            Norah

            Nah, I think it was me. No one seems to have got it. I’m not sure if I try to tell too much, or am just not effective in telling a little. I’ll work on it.

            Like

            Reply
            1. Anne Goodwin (Annecdotist) Avatar
              Anne Goodwin (Annecdotist)

              But some people got it straight away, so it might be the reader’s deficiency. It’s good to be subtle.

              Liked by 1 person

              Reply
              1. Norah Avatar
                Norah

                But not too obscure. Your version is much better. 🙂

                Like

                Reply
                1. Anne Goodwin (Annecdotist) Avatar
                  Anne Goodwin (Annecdotist)

                  Well, I’m glad you liked it. I had a strong foundation to work with.

                  Liked by 1 person

                  Reply
                  1. Norah Avatar
                    Norah

                    Thanks, Anne. I enjoyed the partnership. 🙂

                    Like

                    Reply
    2. Norah Avatar
      Norah

      Oh dear. I was hoping my second illustration may have added some clarity. I just don’t seem to be able to do it in ninety-nine words. Perhaps I should ask Charli for an extension. 🙂
      Jess is a three-year-old and had difficulty pouring the orange juice from the large carton. She spilled it all over the newspaper. Perhaps I should have just said that. 🙂

      Liked by 1 person

      Reply
      1. thecontentedcrafter Avatar
        thecontentedcrafter

        That is just not as intriguing and tantalising though – and clearly I didn’t apply enough effort to the second illustration!

        Liked by 1 person

        Reply
        1. Norah Avatar
          Norah

          Nah! My bad! I should have been able to tell it all in the words.
          Actually, over at the Carrot Ranch, Anne Goodwin tweaked my story and told it much more effectively in 99 words. It was very helpful advice and shows me where I could have refined the story to make the message clearer. I don’t think she’ll mind if I share it here with you and I’m sure you’ll agree that it is more effective in getting the message across.
          Anne’s version
          It was splashed all over the front page. No hiding it. Mum and Dad would be furious. They’d cautioned her to be careful. Time. After. Time. And she was. She thought she could handle it. She didn’t need them watching her every move. She liked being independent. But would they trust her after this?
          When they came in, Jess faced them bravely.
          They looked from her to the paper and back again. Jess’s lip quivered. “Sorry.”
          “Those headlines look juicy,” smirked Dad. “Looks like you need a refill.”
          He picked up the jug. Jess passed him her empty glass.

          Liked by 1 person

          Reply
          1. thecontentedcrafter Avatar
            thecontentedcrafter

            Oh yes, now it is a complete flash, not a tantalising serial. Sometimes it is helpful to have another person’s eye isn’t it. All part of the improving in our art process 🙂 Thank you for sharing it with me Norah.

            Liked by 1 person

            Reply
            1. Norah Avatar
              Norah

              Thank you, Pauline. Yes, I was very grateful to Anne for showing me how it could be improved. 🙂

              Liked by 1 person

              Reply
    3. Norah Avatar
      Norah

      P.S. Thank you for your lovely comment and encouragement.

      Liked by 1 person

      Reply

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